Why write about Michael Jackson?

I cannot make any real connection between Michael Jackson and Judaism.  But, after watching the entire memorial service for Michael Jackson (there was nothing else on, even in Israel), I feel inspired to write.

Michael Jackson was a talent.  He was, in his prime, an 'A-List' entertainer.  His work with the Jackson 5 was superbly representative of a specific kind of late 60's/early 70's Motown/ethnic music.  As a solo act, Michael Jackson produced the best selling record of all time, Thriller.  Jackson's work in music videos was singularly influential:  there's Michael Jackson and there's no one else.

In my opinion, the actual music was not particularly groundbreaking.  I think Smokey Robinson--one of the great songwriters of the pop world--was being generous in claiming Michael was the best performer that ever lived.  He wrote hit songs...Billie Jean and Beat It are two, but he was certainly not a songwriter in the category of Lennon, MacCartney, Smokey Robinson himself, Lieber/Stoller, Stevie Wonder...just to name a few and without even getting into Gershwin, Berlin, etc.  Of course, Frank Sinatra was not a song writer either; nor was Elvis.  Jackson was certainly a significant black artist who was among the early generation major black entertainers to appeal equally to all races. 

I think it is fine that he was hailed as the 'greatest' performer ever in the history of the universe  or of any universe to come...this is the kind of thing that happens at memorial services.  And, if those who control his estate are smart, he'll find that while death isn't so great for your life, it's often great for your career. And, for the past 15 years, Michael Jackson's had no career.  He's been a freak show, but musically irrelevant.

Although I watched the entire memorial, I found was disturbed by it.  I felt as a voyeur...I kept thinking about those children of his and his parents.  I kept wondering if this memorial service actually served any therapeutic value for the family.  But, of course, the family permitted this and likely wanted it.  They could have had a private ceremony.  

Which led me to realize how much Michael Jackson was, more than anything, the world we live in today.  Virtually every moment of his life and his death was open for the world to see and we couldn't get enough.  From his stunning performances as a cute 10/11 year boy, to the 'Wacko Jacko' plastic surgery, dangling babies, child molestation charges--there was nothing off limits about his life.  And in some way, his parents are responsible for that and clearly, he stood in a difficult relationship with his own fame.  He clearly craved the spotlight as he was repelled by it. 

Very, Very Kosher

I ate at a lovely cafe this evening...Cafe Masrik, on the corner of Masrik Street and Emek Refaim.  While I was dining, two men and a woman came into the restaurant.  One of the men asked in Hebrew (based on his accent and subsequent conversation in English, I inferred he was an American) to see the restaurant's certificate of Kashrut, which was kept in a spot right next to my table.  The other gentleman looked it over for about 3 minutes and then handed the certificate back to the waitress.  The first guy asked 'will you be able to eat here?'  The guy who read the certificate shrugged with one of those 'I don't know' shrugs.  They sat down at a table and they were eating when I left, so I guess it was OK.  

Now, the  interesting thing is that this was a dairy restaurant.  So, there's no meat, only fish and, of course, dairy.  How do I know this?  Aside from the menu, there is a sign on the door that indicates the restaurant is a diary, kosher restaurant.  What can really go wrong in terms of Kashrut in a dairy restaurant? Well, perhaps someone is in the back putting small pieces of steak into the cheesecake...sort of like in the movies when a restaurant worker spits in the food before it is served to his enemy.  That wouldn't be in the certificate anyway.

No, this guy wants to know which rabbi approved this restaurant and which form of Kashrut this restaurant adheres to.  Is it mehadrin?  Meaning, 'beautified' or 'to beautify'  it is a 'more strict' form of kashrut.  You should all know my feelings about his...you're kosher or you aint.   The End.

So, this is what it has come to for some Jews...walking into a restaurant in JERUSALEM, with an official heksher or kosher seal and rather that take anyone's word for it, you must inspect the certificate.  This is Judaism?  No, this is nareshkeit--nonsense.

Another thing:

My apartment is on a street that is in constant use by people learning to drive.  Based on the way people drive, I was surprised to learn that they received any driver's education whatsoever.  They have lots of traffic circles in Israel and apparently the Israeli way is to close your eyes and blindly drive into the circle without stopping. 

Today I saw a woman riding a 'scooter' trying to pass a car on the left, essentially on the yellow line that divides the road from on-coming traffic.  She fell!  Cars stopped, people helped her up, she walked to the side...I didn't see anything else because I was passed the scene by the time she was on the sidewalk.  

On the plus side, police have more important things to do than give out tickets for reckless driving.  So, since no one is going to get a ticket anyway, it's a free-for-all.  

One thing I actually like is that people aren't all hug up with parking rules.  You can park anywhere and anyway you want:  on the sidewalk, perpendicular to the street, parallel to the street--it's all good!  There is pay parking--and of course, there is a guy everywhere with timer hooked up to the U.S. Naval Atomic Clock and if you are even a nanosecond late, you get a ticket.  But, I really haven't had a problem parking anywhere...there's lots of pay parking, it's easy to use and as a last resort, I simply get out of my car and leave it.

Shabbat in Jerusalem

The Mamilla Mall is recently opened in Jerusalem.  This mall has been under construction for about, oh, 40 years.  To put that in perspective, it took Solomon 7 years to build his Temple, which, today, happens to be essentially next to the Mall!

So, the Mamilla Mall is right next to the Old City.  Remember that parking lot of which I spoke?  that's below the mall.  I went to the Old City today and parked there...very convenient!  And, crowded!  The Mall connects directly to the Old City via a bridge that leaves you right at the Jaffa Gate.  A significant improvement over the previous entry...which was to dodge a bunch of cars and run for your life.

The Mall was designed by Moshe Safdie, who designed the City Library in Salt Lake City and the Hebrew Union College in Jerusalem.  (We invited him to participate in the design of our synagogue...he declined.)  As Malls go, it is VERY nice.  Think Gateway in Salt Lake...It is an open-air, pedestrian mall with two levels.  As you walk there are two levels of stores on both sides of you (in many places).  The stores are rather pedestrian (pardon the pun).  H. Stern, Rolex, a bunch of Israeli stores, Cafe Aroma, blah, blah, blah.  The Mall looks great.  It's all in Jerusalem stone (surprise!).  But, I'm not quite sure how I feel about it.  On the one hand, I'm all for progress.  On the other hand, this IS Jerusalem.  I'm not sure how'd I'd feel about a mall directly connected to Independence Hall.

I walked around the Old City; I went up to the rooftops, which is one of the best spots in the Old City.  I took some pictures.  Here's one:

Shabbat Begins

Shabbat is about to begin here in Jerusalem.  I've written before that Shabbat in Jerusalem is different from virtually anywhere else in the world.  The city essentially closes; there's nothing to do except 'observe' Shabbat in some way...even if you are simply at home or with friends.

Many Jews in America may not be aware of a rather low-level news story about parking in Jerusalem.  Essentially, certain groups of Orthodox Jews opposed opening certain parking lots on Shabbat. To his credit, the mayor of the Jerusalem, Nir Barkat, kept one of the two in question open (in an area called Mamilla, near the Old City).  What makes this more than a simple issue of zoning or developement is that these Orthodox groups not only opposed the parking lots, but as well they protested--on Shabbat!  Yes, on Shabbat, they gathered and protested on Shabbat and not only in a peaceful rally.  They threw stones and other things and quite a few were arrested.  

I read in the newspapers that a journalist asked them 'aren't you violating Shabbat by protesting?'  The answer:  'we are desecrating Shabbat to prevent the desecration of Shabbat, just as you are permitted to kill someone to prevent your own death.'  Really?  Opposing a parking lot is the same as preventing your own death?  

Admittedly, this story does not possess the gravitas of, for example, the Mid East crisis itself, but none-the-less it is a slice of life in Israel.

 I'm staying in an area near the German Colony.  The German Colony is called the German Colony because it was founded by...Germans!  Well, Okay, there's a bit more to it than that.  The German Colony was founded by a group of 'Templars' from German, not to be confused with the 'Knights of the Templars.'  The Templars were a Lutheran sect that believed settlement of Israel was a predicate to the second coming of Jesus.  They established a number of  settlements in Israel and the German Colony in Jerusalem is the most well-known.

The German Colony is now one of the more desirable neighborhoods in Jerusalem, especially among Americans.  The neighborhood is lovely...and expensive.  There are lots of ex-pats, from America, from France, from England,  Australia and Canada.  Some of them live here full-time; others own second homes; Jerusalem is their Park City.

Lights have begun to turn on around these streets.  Out the window of my kitchen,  I can see parts of the beautiful hills around Jerusalem, dotted with construction cranes.  The streets below are quiet.  It is a lovely Shabbat...Shabbat Shalom.

Early Days in Israel

Israel is hot.  Very hot.  Africa hot.  According to the weather forecast, later in the week may be a bit cooler.

Today was my first day of Hebrew studies.  I studied for about 6 hours.  I'm in the advanced level, which sounds impressive, but you realize how far you have to go if I am advanced.  I cannot yet read a 'real' newspaper (as opposed to the kind published for people just learning Hebrew) and I only get about 50% comprehension when I listen to the television.  I'm not sure I'll achieve my goal of being completely fluent, but I'll try.

Speaking of Israeli TV, its difficult to put into words how bad it is.  I guess on the plus side, you don't have to be good looking or, quite frankly, have recently taken a shower, in order to be on TV.  The talking heads and 'hosts' seem to be people that have rolled out of bed onto a television set. 

In fairness, it's mostly the men.  The women are dressed nicely.    The weather guy on channel 10--I kid you not--was wearing jeans and a purple golf shirt to night.  On another channel, there's a show called 'Nightclub', which is actually a bunch of people sitting around making fun of the news.  And, it's funny.  One of the guys is wearing a t-shirt that looks like its been on him for days.  And comb your hair?  Why?  Again, the woman look put-together.  This is actually a pattern you seen on the street as well. 

Some random comments:  the smoking situation is improving if you are a non-smoker.  There's essentially no smoking in restaurants, the airport, and other public places.  But, the rate of smoking is much higher here than in the States...everyone is smoking outside...If you are paying attention, you see that more and more restaurants are 'kosher mehadrin' meaning the absolute strictest level of kashrut.  I've blogged about this before:  either you are kosher or you're not--it's like being pregnant.  Mehadrin means 'beautify' and the idea is to 'beautify' kashrut by keeping the strictest possible form of it.  So, when there is a choice between a more lenient form of kashrut and a more stringent form of kashrut, you choose the more stringent form.  More on this later.

We'll always have Paris

I am sitting in at gate E59 at Charles de Gaulle in Paris waiting for my Air France flight to Tel Aviv.  I'm traveling to Israel to study Hebrew.  It's been 26 years since I've been in France.

First thing that strikes me about this airport is that the food is horrible.  Here we are in Paris and the only places to eat are crappy little 'cafeterias' at which you can buy tasteless sandwiches (mostly ham & cheese) and the ubiquitous croque monsieur, which in case you don't know is toasted ham & cheese.  Really can't even get a decent, European cup of coffee.  In this huge terminal there isn't an actual sit-down restaurant, brasserie, or cafe that serves a cooked-to-order meal.

When I first traveled to France, I was so excited to visit...the culinary capital of the Western World.  Fresh croissant, bouillabaisse, superb wine, the greatest chefs in the word and le croque monsieur?  What?  As in you're joking?  Now, we American's eat burgers, etc., but, then again, we don't claim to have pretensions of haute cuisine.  but, a toasted ham and cheese sandwich?  That's the French national dish?  Everywhere you go, le croque monsieur is there, as if the French name for a toasted ham and cheese sandwich makes it somehow more exotic than the 'ham & cheese.'  No matter what you call it, it's ham and cheese.  What a disappointment!

I'm also reminded that customer service is not a French specialty.   I finally went to a kiosk kind of thing and the woman working barely spoke a word to me during our 5 minute transaction.  When it took me literally a nano second to figure out how to work the machine that reads your debit card (a bit different than in the States, with all the directions in French), she reached across the counter, grabbed the card from my hand and ran it herself. 

The dollar ain't what it used to be. For about 14 euros--$20, I got a thimble full of coffee, a 1/2 of a cheese sandwich (though it was goat cheese plus a slice of tomato) and a very bad chocolate croissant (Albertson's is better).  

When you leave our little slice of heaven in Park City, the first thing you notice is that most of the world is not white.  That's obvious.  But here Terminal 2E of de Gaulle, you can't help but be struck by the huge number of people I take to be Muslims.  I draw this conclusion based on the number of women wearing some form of burkha, hijab or chadri.  At least in this terminal, which is an international terminal, I would say, conservatively, Muslims, are 30% of the people here.

Iran, Israel, Bibi and More

What should President Obama do about the Iranian elections?

One school of thought suggests that the President should show solidarity with the protestors and with the opposition.  Stephen Hayes, of the Weekly Standard, criticizes Obama for not using this moment to "stand as one' with the people of Iran, words Obama himself used in a speech he gave in Berlin while still a candidate.  Hayes goes further and suggests that the Iranian elections are analogous to the Berlin Airlift...uhhh..., no. 

The United States was a direct protagonist in the Airlift.  The Soviets cut off access to the western sectors of Berlin controlled by the United States and our allies.  This was a direct confrontation between the United States and The Soviet Union...far different circumstances than exist today in Iran.

First, the United States actually (surprise!) had nothing to do with the elections.  This is strictly an issue between the Iranian government and its people.  Second, the idea that the United States should support the opposition because it is 'democratic' is preposterous.  Iran is a dictatorship...true control of the government rests with appointed Muslim clerics.  The presidency is a concession to a vague idea of democracy...it's throwing a bone to the people.  The four candidates that ran in this election all pledged fealty to the ayatollahs.  Hossein Musavi, the main opposition candidate was himself part of the establishment during the Iranian Revolution of 1979.   I've read that's his become more 'liberal.'  Nonetheless, he still would owe his election to the ayatollahs...

Third, when has meddling in the affairs of another country...especially a middle eastern one, every paid off for the U.S.? Mostly, not.

So, on this issue, Obama is taking the correct approach...there is very little way for the United States to 'win' by taking sides.  

Netanyahu

So, what did you think of Netanyahu's speech yesterday?  Kind of a counterpoint to Obama's Cairo speech.  

First, the prospects for peace in the Middle East are not WORSE after these speeches...so that is a good thing.  If you acknowledge that speeches play a role in the world, then I think these speeches, on balance, tipped the scales slightly to the positive.  Will these speeches alone be determinative about anything?  No, but Bibi and Obama are 'on the record' about certain things--and that's something.

To focus specifically on Netanyahu's speech, 24 hours after the fact, the speech in Israel has been well received.  You can read about it here, here, here, here and here!

Clearly, a de-militarized Palestinian state is not a likely outcome of the peace process.  There is actually some question about whether a  sovereign state is bound to abide by pre-state agreements that call for its demilitarization.  In essence, a sovereign state can do anything it wants or it is not a sovereign state.  

On the other hand, Netanyahu clearly set the stage for a two-state solution.  And, from a realpolitik point of view, at least his put some cards on the table as a point of departure for negotiations.  

I have recently been inclined to say that Netanyahu loves himself more than he loves the state of Israel, as opposed to Menachem Begin, who clearly loved the State of Israel more than he loved himself.  In the case of Begin, his love for Israel allowed him to make decisions for the State that transcended his own myopia and prejudices--decision that endure to this day.  We can only hope that Bibi's venality and ego will cause him to ultimately do what is right for Israel in this instance.

Israel, the MIddle East, Etc.

There's been quite a lot of activity in the Middle East that's worth nothing:

Israeli sources are reporting that Bolivia and Venezuela are supplying Iran with uranium for its nuclear program.  I honestly do not believe anyone really has a clear plan to deal with this profound, existential threat.  Perhaps there isn't really a clear path forward.

I do believe Iran will use a nuclear weapon on Israel (and other likely other countries) when it finally develops a working bomb.  If Israel (or the U.S.) is completely successful, Israel can probably weather the storm of protest (and, let's face it, most of the world, including many Arab states, will be thrilled).  However...

 What if you don't get everything in the first strike?  Let's say your intelligence is not 100% accurate, you don't destroy quite enough and Iran can still bomb Israel.  The problem is that one bomb essentially eliminates Israel (unlike the United States, which by virtue of its size, could absorb a limited nuclear attack).  Or worse, what if your intelligence is wrong, you bomb Iran to smithereens and they had nothing?

Yossi Melman's analysis of this situation is worth reading here.  A recent report by the Jerusalem Post is also worth reading here.

Another question: do you use nuclear weapons to destroy nuclear weapons?  Why or why not? 

Another question:  what if Israel is successful but Arab nations and others use it as a pretext to attack Israel?  Does the United States join Israel?  Is this WWIII?

Next up, is the "Peace Process."  (BTW, horrible name:  at the moment there is no peace and no process.) There is lots of finger pointing to go around...Netanyahu, Lieberman, Obama.  As I see it, here is the most important thing:  What is in Israel's best interest?  The status quo is not in Israel's best interest...if there is no solution over the next 20 years, the demographics go strongly against Israel.  Next, a one-state solution is absolutely not workable...again, demographics mean that in 20 years Israel as we know it does not exist.  Of course the 'two-state' solution is a very difficult proposition, with many thorny issues, but out of three choices (status quo, one-state, two-state) some form/variation/hybrid of the two-state solution is the only way forward and the faster the better for Israel.

Check out the Brookings Institute website  for some superb analysis on the issues.

Stand Up and Be Counted!

This week we begin with the first portion of the Book of Numbers, known in Hebrew as Bamidbar.  Bamidbar is the name of the Book and the first portion...as is the practice for all the books of the Torah.

Many people consider this a 'boring' portion.  The  portion deals at great length with counting the Children of Israel in various combinations:  all the males older than 20; the individual counts of the various tribes.

Why this detailed census?  And why is it included in the Torah?  These are crucial questions and the significance of the portion obscured by its tedium.

I frequently preach that Judaism is about community.  In fact, community is at the heart of Judaism.  And, if you're not willing to stand up and be counted, you're not part of the community.  I encounter many people today who say, 'well, I'm Jewish, I feel Jewish, I'm proud of my Judaism, but I'm not a 'joiner.'" Well, then you're not part of the Jewish community and in a very real sense, you're not Jewish!

Moreover, this teaching applies to the community at large:  are you willing to stand up and be counted here in America?  In what way would you be counted? 

There is also an analogy to be drawn between this portion and the idea of 'being a number.'  The multiple ways in which the census was organized (individuals, tribes, etc.) points to an important Jewish ideal:  you are not just a number!  You participation in the community as an individual is essential for the community to flourish.

So, stand up and be counted!

Jerusalem Post Edidtorial

Check out this editorial in the Jerusalem Post.  It is an evaluation of the Nethanyahu/Obama meetings.

It's the Peace Process!

Bibi is wrapping up his visit to Washington, D.C.  He has NOT endorsed a two-state solution to the problem in the Middle East, although he has managed to affirm that the United States and Israel both share a common interest in preventing Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons.

Bibi was able to secure some sort of commitment from Obama to set a timetable with regard to Iran.  I'm not quite sure if that is meaningful or just a bunch of hot air.  We'll see.  My guess is mostly hot air.  Bibi offered nothing in return.

Prime Minister Netanyahu....you have a chance to transform yourself from political mercenary to epochal statesman--do not forsake this chance!  As I have preached many times, there is no viable alternative to the two-state solution, time is AGAINST Israel and yes, you are correct, Iran is truly an existential threat to Israel if they obtain nuclear weapons.  You offer no real viable plan, you make no commitment to address the issue of settlements, you seem to have no substantive vision for Israel's future beyond your administration's bellicose pronouncements...

The Jewish people need a Nachshon...a man unafraid to jump in!  Be that guy!

Bronfman Vision Forum

I just returned from a day and a half seminar with the Bronfman Vision Forum.  A group of people--maybe 30, all with connections to the Samuel Bronfman Foundation (and, of course, Adam and Edgar Bronfman are supporters of Temple Har Shalom).

Leaving aside the many wonderful things we talked about, the gathering is a chance to meet some very interesting people, some of whom I've known and some of whom I haven't.  

I met a man named Gidi Grinstein who is the founder of the Re'ut Institute. (Re'ut means 'vision' or 'looking forward').  I had never heard of the Re'ut Institute or Gidi (who apparently has the same hair stylist as I do, but is much taller and better looking).  I asked him for some information on the Institute and WOW...I was impressed.  

This is the most important organization working on behalf of Israel that you've never heard of.  There work is complicated and defies and easy explantion, but essentially they look for cross-disciplinary solutions to complex problems  (think Palestinian Conflict and economics).  It is basically a think-tank, but rather than just 'thinking' they are providing important...very important...advice to the Government of Israel and its agencies.

You''ll be hearing me talk about the Re'ut Institute again, but for now, spend some time on their website.

Emor

We're reading in Emor this week...there's lots in it, but of interest to me this week is the calendar.  In the listing of holidays, these holidays are listed:  Shabbat, Passover, Shavuot, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur and Succot.  (To be precise, the last day of Passover and Shmini Atzeret Simchat Torah are also mentioned).

These are the Biblical holidays.  And they remain the major calendrical celebrations of Jews in 2009.   These days are considered a Shabbat Shabbaton.  What could that mean? 

Of course, there are many interpretations.  Here's one:  the 'doubling' of the word reminds us us the doubling of manna--an event associated with Shabbat.  What was the point of the manna story?  One point is that each person was required to take only enough for him/herself.  On Friday, God provided two portions of manna since manna could not be collected on Shabbat.

The entire welfare of the community depended on every individual not being greedy, not taking too much, etc.  If one person took too much...someone else got less.  The success of the community was predicated upon the interdependence of the individual.  Each individual relies upon the other to make wise decisions, to be restrained in their actions.

In circling back to the holidays, we must understand these Holy Days in a communal sense.  These are festivals that ultimately celebrate the community which is predicated upon the interdependence of individuals making decisions that benefit the entire community...a message with much to offer us today.

Sad Story

Here is a sad story about sexual abuse in the Orthodox world. 

My guess is that sexual abuse exists to the same extent in all communities.  I believe that the same percentage of people everywhere are bad, crooks, evil, etc.  No community is exempt.

 The problem is that in closed communities and in fundamentalist communities  there is a strong tendency to simply deny that a problem exists.  In addition, these communities often hold themselves up as paragons of virtue, a holier-than-thou, which at least gives off the scent of hypocrisy.

Wassup in the Jewish World

Khaled Mashaal, the political leader of Hamas who is in exile in Damascus, gave a 5 hour interview with the New York Times.  It seemed, on the one hand, to be somewhat conciliatory.  Mashaal said he wanted a two state solution.  On the other hand, he seemed typically belligerent in refusing to recognize the state of Israel.  How, exactly, there could be a 'two-state' solution when one state doesn't recognize the other seems a subtle philosophical point lost of Mashaal, but no matter.  You could read this as progress; you could read this as same 'ol, same 'ol.

Next up is the Prime Minister of Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu.  He offered a very short speech to AIPAC in which he said he wanted peace, wanated to try some new ideas, made the point that nothing so far has worked, so why not try something new?

Unfortunately, Netanyahu has only slightly more credibility than Meshaal if credibility is defined as actually following through with your words, which neither Nethanyahu or Meshaal has done.

Netanyahu also selected a new ambassador to the United States:  Michael Oren.  This is an intriguing pick because Michael Oren is a unilaterilist:  he supported Israel's unilateral withdrawal from Gaza and he supports a unilateral withdrawal from the West Bank.  Netanyahu deserves credit for this out of the box pick and maybe, just maybe, it indicates he is serious about making a change.

I want to say early in on Bibi's administration:  I will be the first--or as close as I can get to the first--person to recant everything I've ever said about him if he pulls off "a Begin."

Portion of the Week

This week is a double portion:  Acharei Mot/Kedoshim.  We are in the middled of the book of Leviticus.  The double portion (meaning that two portions are read during one week) is dictated by the calendar.

For the past several weeks, I have been focusing on the commentary of Rashi, whose commentaries on the Torah are considered authoritative.  I want to continue to focus on Rashi's commentary on the opening verses of chapter 18.    Verse 4/5 reads:  "Carry out My judgments and observe My decrees to follow them...you shall observe My decrees and My judgements..."  What is the difference between "decrees" and "judgements?"

According to Rashi the 'decrees" (in Hebrew mishpatim) laws that even if not mentioned specifically in the Torah would be followed by man because because they are so obvious and make so much.   An example:  thou shall not kill.

The "judgements" (in Hebrew, chukim) are those things, says Rashi, about which the evil inclination might be inclined to cause us to say, "why should we observe them?"  An example:  the prohibition against eating pork.

Durban II Wrap Up

The disastrous Durban II Conference wrapped up recently.  The Conference represents everything wrong with the United Nations.  (The UN does some good, but essentially the organization needs to be blown up and we need to start over).

Bernard Henri Levy is a French philosopher. (Yes, you can actually earn a living in France being a philosopher.)  He is also Jewish.  He has an interesting article in the Huffington Post about this and you can read it here.

SWINE FLU ALERT!

The Deputy Minister of Health, an ultra-Orthodox man named Yakov Litzman, has decreed that in Israel the Swine Flu shall be called the 'Mexico Flu' because, of course,pig isn't kosher!  Yes, I'm serious!  

In response to this important decision that will no doubt combat this outbreak, I have decided to take some important measures here at Temple Har Shalom:

 HENCEFORTH IN THIS SYNAGOGUE, THE ‘SWINE FLU’ SHALL BE KNOWN AS THE ‘MEXICO FLU’ AS PER THE DECISION OF THE ISRAELI DEPUTY MINISTER OF HEALTH.  AS SWINE IS NOT KOSHER, THIS MAKES ALL THE SENSE IN THE WORLD.  

OTHER CHANGES EFFECTIVE NOW:  PIG LATIN SHALL BE KNOWN AS ‘MOVING-THE-FIRST-LETTER-OF-THE-WORD-TO-THE-END-AND-ADDING-AN-A LATIN.’  ALSO NO GAMES OF PIG ARE PERMITTED ON THE BASKETBALL COURT.  A FOOTBALL SHALL NOT BE CALLED A ‘PIG SKIN’  

 THE EXPRESSION, ‘LIPSTICK ON A PIG’ SHALL BE REPLACED BY ‘LIPSTICK ON A CHICKEN’  

THE EXPRESSION ‘WHEN PIGS FLY’ SHALL BE REPLACED BY ‘WHEN A NICE BRISKET FLIES’

PLEASE RESTRICT ANY USE OF THE WORDS PIG, SWINE, PORK, BACON, CANADIAN BACON, OR SAUSAGE.  EVEN A WORD SUCH AS LUAU, WHICH IMPLIES A PIG, CANNOT BE USED.  IN ORDER TO BUILD A FENCE AROUND THIS PROHIBITION, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM USING THE WORD ‘WINE’ WHICH COULD EASILY BE HEARD AS ‘SWINE.’  ANY ANAGRAMS OF THE ABOVE WORDS ARE ALSO PROHIBITED.

FINALLY, KEVIN BACON WILL BE BARRED FROM THE BUILDING DURING SUNDANCE.

Portion of the Week

This week we read a combine portion, Tazria Metzorah.  This portion deals with a variety of impurities and the prescribed remedy for them...in other words, how do you move from a state of impurity to purity.  

A woman, for example (and the rabbis of the Talmud were mostly concerned with the impurity of women) can be impure impure during the specific days of her cycle (and she is called a zavah) or impure during any other period of bloody discharge at any other time in which she is considered a niddah.  The status of zavah was considered a more severe form of impurity than niddah.  A zavah must bring offerings with her as part of the purification procedures; a niddah is not required to do so.

In chapter 15, verses 1-2 of Leviticus, the text reads:  "God spoke to Moses and Aaron saying, 'Speak to the Children of Israel and say to them:  Any man who will have a discharge from his flesh his discharge is impure.'"  Based on a simple reading of the text, the specific type of discharge is unclear.  For example, could this refer to a boil or a pimple from which there is a discharge of pus?  

Rashi sets us straight.  By using a bit of reasoning (and remember, there are certain specific kinds of reasoning that are permitted) Rashi determines that this discharge must in fact refer to semen.  Rashi actually states:  "I have the right to use reasoning..."  He draws an analogy:  as a woman's impurity comes from a specific place on the body, so too must a man's come from the similar and analogous place on the body; hence the discharge must be semen. 

The reason this passage is interesting is that it provides us with a perfect example of a gezerah shavah, which means that similar laws or situations are equal and hence an analogy can be drawn.  The case of the woman is analogous to the case of a man and since we know what 'discharge' means as it applies to a woman, we can then draw the inference as it applies to a man.

Netanyahu, Europe,

Well, you might realize that Europe doesn't really care about Jews (and I think, in general, they don't), and so you might not care what Europe thinks about Israel because of antisemitism and their own political need to pander to their ever-growing number of Arabs in their midst, there is already a problem brewing over Bibi's rejection of the two-state solution.  Oh, what's that, you didn't know about that?  Read about that an an excellent analysis of the two-state solution here.

Churning Jewish World

The world is churning...I received a letter earlier in the week from Rabbi David Ellenson, president of the Hebrew Union College, my alma mater.  Ellenson spoke eloquently of the very difficult position of the College and the changes that will be necessary to maintain the College is some form. 

For those who may not know, HUC maintains four campuses:  New York, Cincinnati, Los Angeles and Jerusalem.  The College trains rabbis, cantors, Jewish educators, Jewish social/communal service  workers; the College confers Masters, Ordination, Investiture and Doctorates. Like the Union of Reform Judaism, the College has long been a bureaucratic behemoth, kept together only because competing constituencies could not give up their little slice of heaven.

Now, it is likely the College will face the elimination of at least one, perhaps two campuses.  As well, the breadth of degrees and programs will likely be eliminated.

 the URJ's reorganization and the UJC's reorganization means that the organizational Jewish world stands on the threshold of epochal change. Five years from now it will look significantly different than it has for the past 100 years...so this is a big change.  Hopefully it will be managed correctly.

Meanwhile, the Iranian Wacko-in-Chief stood in front of the Durban Disaster and spewed not unexpected hatred.  Lots of countries such as France 'walked out' on the guy...big deal.  They walked back in.  Let's not delude ourselves into thinking that any of the countries sitting in that room care one whit about Israel...if they did, they would have stayed at home like the Americans and others.

By the way, just because I refer to him derisively does not mean he isn't dangerous. He is very dangerous.  But, he's still a wacko.

Duban II

I wrote previously about the United Nations conference dubbed 'Durban II' which is actually being held in Geneva.  Along with every other sane person, I predicted Durban II would turn into a anti-Israel blood fest and on its very first day, it has! 

Iranian President Ahmandinejad lambasted Israel in a patently antisemitic, preposterous speech on the first day and many of the delegates--those that didn't boycott--walked out during his speech.  The only question is:  will they walk back in?

Durban I was ridiculous.  Of course, many European nations, most of whom don't care one wit about Israel, decided to 'give it another go.'  

Check out this video:

Need anymore proof that antisemitism is alive and well!

Israel vs Iran: One perspective

Yossi Melman, a fairly well known Israeli correspondent and generally considered on the left of Israeli politics, argues today in an article for Ha'aretz that if asked, he would advise Benjamin Netanyahu to attack Iran.  I urge you to read the article.  In my opinion, it's a bit of pretzel logic, but there is a certain Realpolitik approach to the matter.  Check it out!!

Don't Eat That: Parshat Shemini

Shemini is the portion in which the list of permitted and prohibited foods that comprise the laws of kashrut is found.  The issue of meat and dairy is not addressed in this portion.  Rashi's particular use in this portion is to elucidate some of the less obvious parts of kashrut.

The list of prohibited and permitted foods is quite simple:

Mammals: split hooves and chews its cud;

Fish: fins and scales;

Birds: there is a specific list of 24 forbidden birds; everything else is permitted;

The issue of insects and birds is particularly interesting.  In terms of birds, the specific identity of the 24 birds is not precisely known.  Thus, the practice is to eat only those birds which have been specifically identified as kosher via tradition.  This means, basically, if your mother told you to eat it, you could.  If she didn't, you couldn't.  Thus, the most common kosher birds to eat are chicken, turkey and duck.  

The same idea tends to apply to insects.  The Torah identifies insects you may eat:  "...flying creatures that walk on four; one that has jumping legs above its legs, with which to spring upon the earth."  This would seem to apply to grasshoppers and locusts, but as Rashi tells us there is some confusion about these because of fine differences between different species.  Wow!

By the way, every creepy crawly thing with more than 4 legs is permitted so, enjoy!

I'm BAAAAAAAAAACK

I've been away because of surgery that made it very difficult for me to type...but now I'm all better!  I say that not for your sympathy, but to let you know that my blog is still worth reading. In just a few short hours, I'll be posting my weekly portion...bet you can't wait.

Back Soon

Due to minor surgery on my left hand, I cannot really type...back early next week.  Happy Passover

The Most Stressful Time of Year...Passover!

To eat or not to eat.  That is the question...OY!  

What are you going to eat for Passover?  Will you finally give in and eat the 'forbidden' legumes and other foods classified as kitniyot (literally, 'little things').  Or, will you break the bonds of slavery and eat...ENJOY, ESSEN.  Have some rice!  Have some peanuts!  Have some beans.  Have some popcorn!

Why not?  The ban on kitniyot is a symbol of everything that is wrong with Orthodox Judaism.  To start with, it is not based either in Torah or in the Talmud. The 'ban' doesn't apply to the Sephardic community at all, who go on quite happily eating all manners of 'forbidden' foods. It is an invention of increasingly stringent Orthodox Jews totally unrelated to anything Jewish.  How stupid is it?

Well, Rabbenu Yeruham ben Meshullam of Provence (14th century) said "those accustomed to not eating rice and various kinds of cooked kitniyot on Pesach abide by a stupid custom which makes it harder on themselves (meaning to observe the festival) and I have no idea why they do so."

But, wait!  That's not all.  Rav Yaakov ben Asher rejected the custom, saying "it is an excessive restriction and improper."  Rav Zvi Hirsch Ashkenazi known as 'Zvi the Wise One' of the 17th/18th century, and his son, Rabbi Yaakov Amdan opposed the custom with all their might and wanted to eliminate it.

The Torah sets forth the forbidden grains:  wheat, barley, spelt, oats and rye.  That's it.  Nothing more.  (Pesachim 35a explicates).  The restriction on eating kitniyot is actually not a 'law' it is a custom.  Ask yourself this:  did the Medieval commentators who started this nareshkeit know about corn?  Corn is from the New World.  Soy?  No, they weren't eating tofu.  

The Orthodox world, primarily the Ashkenazic Orthodox world, is becoming increasingly insane about all manners of restrictions, rules and laws that have absolutely no basis in anything other than their own mishigas!  The time is now to rebel!  Eat kitniyot this year!